Dear Artist:

This should come as no surprise to you, especially in light of the portfolio you sent us to review.  The leather bound cover was ever so tasteful.  The excellent spelling and grammar in your cover letter makes you, in our post literate culture, a credit to your race and gender (both of which you failed to indicate).  It was an absolute joy to view all those fancy fonts emblazoned on that simply scrumptious canary yellow 100% recycled hogsass parchment . However, we were waaay to tired to look at your  work after lugging that forty pound bastard up two flights of stairs.  Might  we suggest you put your entire portfolio on CD-ROM. It will be much lighter and those little 3 1/2 inch disks are much easier for us to misplace or simply elbow into the garbage. Thank you for thinking of our gallery and do us  a favor: lose our address as soon as possible .

Up yours,

Hugh G. Reception/ Gallery Director
 

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